Antonio Delapaz

Hey,

I’m on this site because I’m looking to meet someone who just wants to talk, nothing more, nothing less. If you’re looking for good vibes and a good laugh and a good conversation, you came to the right person. Let me be up front, I’m not looking for a relationship, donations, or any legal assistance, just someone who wants a different experience from the ordinary.

My life falls in the out-of-the-ordinary category. At 16 years old, I was sentenced to life in prison and been in here since. So I’ve pretty much grown up in this place. Yes, I have a story, but to tell you in this introduction would be way too long. 🙂

Instead of letting prison beat me down, I’ve learned to bend and not break (all thanks to Bruce Lee). Staying proactive has helped me use my time wisely to earn a Bachelor of Science Degree. Prison, as funny as it may sound, has taught me a lot about myself. One thing I discovered is I have an inner Einstein. lol How that happened- I still haven’t figured it out. 🙂 I love watching “The Big Bang Theory” and “Titans” and listening to “This American Life” and “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me.”

As a Latino, I’m proud of my heritage. I value highly family and friendship. What glues family and friendship together is honesty and authenticity, care and concern, openness and acceptance. And these are the same characteristics that I bring to the table as you get to know me. People have a tendency to feel comfortable around me, which gives them a sense of security to share what’s really on their hearts. So just know that around me you can be -you- because that’s who I want to talk to. We aren’t perfect, and our imperfections and brokenness are what connects us all together.

If you read this far and something I shared clicked on the inside and you want to talk, feel free to write. You can be assured that I’ll respond back. 🙂 Just please leave your mailing address if you email me, as I can only reply through snail mail.

-Antonio

Lockdown

How could I best describe prison life to you? Perhaps the closest thing you ever got to rubbing shoulders with prison life was watching shows like “Gangland”, “Lockup” or “Orange is the New Black.” But if I could let you see through my eyes and feel with my hands my world, you would start to understand the great unknown.

As I’m penning this essay, I’m on “lockdown” in a maximum security prison. In Texas, each prison has to go on lockdown, at least once a year. During this time, the guards do a thorough search of the prison and of us for any contraband. There is no movement; we must stay in the cell (9×5 ft.) with a celly. It’s like being locked inside your own bathroom with someone else. And who knows, you may or may not be cool with this person.

The phones get turned off and commissary is closed. So our only means of communication is through letters. And if you don’t have any groceries in your locker, you’re stuck eating the brown Johnny Sacks, with only two sandwiches inside, three times a day. Thankfully, we can have visits and mail. But because the Beto Unit is big, housing 3,500 men, lockdowns can take anywhere from two weeks to a month. You’re probably wondering “how in the world do you survive lockdowns?”

To be honest, I still haven’t figured it out. Once you’re thrust into a situation like the one I am in, your survival instinct kicks in. You work with what you got. You may think I’m crazy, but the steel bunk I lay on is a king size bed. My radio is my smart TV; it’s my access to good music and current news. My books are portals into different worlds, where I meet new characters and gain an appreciation of the world I live in. Though small as it may be, the cell is also my gym. The shelf becomes my pull-up bar. My commissary bag, filled with bottled water, becomes my curl bar. So, after a good workout, the sink becomes my shower. I hang a sheet up for privacy and get cleaned up. Because there’s no A/C, my two fans are my A/C unit. The toilet must always be bleached; it turns into my washing machine and I have clothes lines all over the cell. And when I write letters, that’s the moment I can have a genuine and sincere conversation with someone on the other side of this fence.

So, I asked my celly, “what I just wrote; does it sound like I’m crazy?” He said, “not to me, maybe to them it might because they don’t know how it’s like in here, especially during lockdown.”

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• Incarcerated Since: 2010
• Sentence Received: 30 years to life
• Earliest Release: 2040

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