C Fausto Cabrera

Wire of Hope,

Hope is an action. For me it looks like this profile. I waver between the desire to be seen & leaning into my invisibility. I don’t believe in presenting the best version of myself for the world to see over a screen & then decide to engage; yet here I am? Maybe I am Travis Bickle, a walking contradiction? I struggle with mental health. I have trust & abandonment issues & can be intensely neurotic. Which I have learned how to repurpose into motivation to do something within my circumstances.

Idk, I always figured if I focused on “improvement”: in education, spirituality, creative writing, art, working out- that things would figure themselves out, that somehow these could save me? But there are no answers that don’t just lead to more questions & my curiosity knows no bounds. So maybe this is what this is about? Being open to new people & experiences. I’m proud of the man I’m becoming & I still believe in individuals even when they let you down.

I think at this point, I’m just trying to play my part to lift up the platforms that haven’t given up on us as individuals within a system designed to keep us broken. The Minnesota Prison Writing Workshop (mpww.com) taught me how to refine my voice & We Are All Criminals.org’s Seen Project has helped but is on display. I’ve been publishing poetry in Literary Journals the last couple of years & my latest project with photographer Alec Soth, The Parameters of Our Cage was reviewed by The Guardian, CNN Style, BuzzFeed News, & The New Yorker.

Why are you here? Why reach into the depths of incarceration & write? Many people have come & gone & I’m always fascinated by people’s expectations & intentions although I’m not sure if I’ve gotten a lot of honest answers to this question. The great thing about my presence is that I free you from the shame of judgement & allow you to be your authentic self. I have done the worst; so, there is something to that idea that invites you to be who you truly are, free from condemnation.

There is a certain essence you develop at rock bottom in the dark. Then you find a trapdoor & you’re sitting in an isolation cell with only your tattoos to remind you of what makes you; so, you follow them into your interior- you go deeper than you ever could have anywhere else in your old life. You get to know yourself, separate from the distractions & discover the solitude that Emerson & Rilke spoke of. The darkness resembles black earth now & in the garden there is cultivation. After all of the self-reflection you have to decide whether or not to return & just how much of yourself you are willing to offer. My amount has varied as I’ve refined my reasons, possibly just excuses. This particular offering is simply my latest action of hope.

C Fausto Cabrera

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• Incarcerated Since: 2003
• Sentence Received: Life
• Earliest Release: 2030

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