John is 34 years old and incarcerated in the US (CO).
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that things usually work out in the strangest ways.
For example, I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to “describe” myself, but I’m really struggling. It’s a seemingly impossible task for me, because where most men have “game” and can tell you all the stuff you want to hear, I have the kind of honesty that often lands me in socially awkward situations where my foot ends up so far in my mouth that I can, literally, bite myself in the ass.
“Maybe I’m overthinking this?”, I tell myself. So I put down this “introduction” stuff and begin to draw. I relax. The pen in my hand flies across the paper easily rendering what I desire, I’m not thinking, just doing. And, as always, I find that I’m never more at peace than when I’m drawing, painting, or tattooing. Then suddenly, the delicious aroma of a cooking “Hot Pocket” hits me!
You know how certain scents can conjure up old memories? Well, for me, this particular smell reminds me of better days with someone I love, who has since passed away. I smile, my heart warms, and I ache a little.
However, I’m puzzled. A few months ago, Coronavirus took my ability to smell and even though the sense is slowly returning, nothing smells as it should. I also consider that we can’t get “Hot Pockets” in here, which only makes me wonder what I’m actually smelling.
And as I’m sitting there drawing, savoring bittersweet memories, out of nowhere, my cellmate says, “Sorry bro, I farted.”
I couldn’t help but erupt into laughter, the mystery aroma solved, and the irony of it all is hilarious. Then I have the idea to use this in my introduction.
I don’t know if it’s a brilliant or idiotic idea, definitely a strange one, but I know if you laughed with me, then you can “get” me and you should immediately write.
• Date of Birth: 12/24/1986 (34 years old)
• Gender: Male
• Marital Status: Single
• Sexual Orientation: Straight
• Race: White
• Ethnicity: Not Hispanic or Latino
• Eye Color: Blue
• Hair Color: Brown
• Height: 5 ft. 11 in.
• Body Type: Athletic
• Hometown: N/A
• Spoken Languages: English, learning Spanish
• Religion: N/A
• Astrological Sign: Capricorn
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• Incarcerated Since: 2013
• Sentence Received: 35 years
• Earliest Release: 2036