Shaun is 41 and incarcerated in the US (NY).
Awful is the only way I can describe this existence that I bought with my stupidity. Eating my meals three feet from a toilet is fine dining. Having these wonderful meals brought to me by people, who for the most part, look at me like I’m a turd they almost stepped in is another plus. I’m not complaining, I made my bed like a big boy, and I’ll sure as hell lay in it. I felt maybe I’d give you a quick look from my perspective.
I’m not a creep and I’m realistic about my situation. The world ain’t gonna stop spinning because I’m locked up. I’ve spent most of the past 15 years in prison. I’m sorry but not sorry. Maybe I deserve to spend these years alone like I’ve been. Not having family or friends does something to a man’s mind, no matter how strong you think you are. Especially when you’re doing hard time. I like to think of myself as a bad man with a good heart… Ok, who am I kidding? I’m an asshole. In my youth, I made being a troublemaker cute. As I got older, it was not so cute anymore. Should have spent my young adult life building bridges, not burning them? I reaped what I sowed for sure.
Over the years guys told me I should try a pen pal service since I ain’t got nobody. I always brushed it off, thinking “who would want to talk to me?” I’ve seen it work for other guys, but still, it just seems weird and unrealistic to me.
I wish I had photos to post with this, but I’m in a “solitary housing unit” for another year because I cause trouble in general population. They renamed it the “rehabilitation residential unit” but it’s still the freaking box! They just give you an opportunity to go sit chained to a chair in a classroom for several hours a day. I’m basically isolated and in a cell. You can just Google my case and see all the photos and videos of me since I made the news. Otherwise, there’s no way for me to get pictures of myself in this environment. I was 34 at the time of my arrest and still look the same now. Apart from a few extra gray hairs, I’ve always looked younger than my age.
I have a sarcastic, sometimes dry sense of humor, or I can be off the wall goofy. It’s hard for me to take things seriously. Honestly, it’s either I laugh or I cry at this point in my so-called life. Sometimes I’ll be sitting here and the sorrow will just overwhelm me. I don’t want nobody’s pity though.
I believe I need to be completely honest and open for friendship to actually happen. I can’t be selfish anymore.
I’m no rocket scientist, but for a guy in prison I have a decent mind. I love reading fiction like fantasy or sci fi novels. I like to think I’m good at poetry, but the truth is I probably suck. I’ll end this with a silly little poem just to give you a taste. Before that I just want to thank you if you’re still reading this. Although my life seems to be standing still, I remember how hectic things can get out there. Hopefully I sound like someone you might want to trade letters with. I’m game for anything. Here’s that little poem I promised:
I’d made my bed to lie in it, just to turn around and dig my grave to die in it. I did bad things without ever doing the worst. Chip on my shoulders, buying drugs on a street corner. Throwing my words into the wind, maybe a shoulder to lean on, maybe a voice to hear. Trying to be brave, but all I feel inside is fear. I want to make a connection based on you looking inside. Sit here with me and create a fantasy. I won’t deceive, so long as you’re willing to make believe.
I think this is where you start snapping your fingers. Again, thank you for reading this
• Date of Birth: 08/24/1980 (41 years old)
• Gender: Male
• Marital Status: Single
• Sexual Orientation: Straight
• Race: White
• Ethnicity: Not Hispanic or Latino
• Eye Color: Brown
• Hair Color: Brown
• Height: 5 ft. 11 in.
• Body Type: Thin
• Hometown: Rochester, New York (USA)
• Spoken Languages: English
• Religion: None
• Astrological Sign: Virgo
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• Incarcerated Since: 2015
• Sentence Received: 26 years
• Earliest Release: 2038