Jeremy Ng

Company wanted. No experience necessary. Willing to train. Must be available on weekends and holidays. An equal opportunity lender. No background check required.

Benefits include: Friend for life, shoulder to cry on, genuine conversations, and overall fun.

The thought of meeting you, a complete stranger, for the very first time by written letter excites me. Don’t skip any details. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you need. Tell me everything. Keep it edgy. Fascinate me. We can whisper sweet nothings, contemplate the stars, create fantasies, or laugh till we cry. Secrets are always welcomed. Let’s create a space where our minds collide, with maybe the goal of forever. Forever friends, forever lovers, forever a mix between the two? Surely I know what I want, but this isn’t about me, it’s about you, or I wouldn’t be here.

Will you be the type that has to have it only on college-ruled paper? If so, get cracking because I’ve read a book or two on handwriting and have my fingers crossed. Or could you be the one-and-done type? Just a postcard with your number on it because you want it fifteen minutes at a time every night over the phone with no interruptions. Or maybe you’re the romantic type that corresponds only enough to be placed on my visiting list so that the first contact we share is a kiss. Face melt!!! Where have you been all my life?

Quick story: Growing up in Hawaii, surrounded by her beauty, life’s a beach. Tourists walking the shore will often ask me what my dog’s name is. I tell them, because of the single rust-colored patch on his otherwise completely white coat, we named him Stain. When they ask if he is friendly, I agree and suggest they call him over. “Come, Stain! Here, Boy! Come, Stain! Here, Boy!” He never looks up. I love making people smile just as much as I love to smile.

Please, my goal here is singular. You! You on the opposite end of whatever you’ll allow me to get you on. Let’s make a deal. My positive vibes in exchange for your human connection. I promise you a respectful mindset, grounded in a genuine appreciation for your time and space. Let’s face it, I’ve had to get myself into a lot of trouble to find you here, so why not put a token in the ride? Hop on, it’s just a magic carpet I borrowed from Aladdin.