Prison Penpal Kyle Hulbert

Kyle Hulbert

Kyle is 38 and incarcerated in the US (VA).

Meet KyleKyle's PoemMore about KyleContact InformationSentence Information

HA! Victory is mine! I’ve finally managed to wriggle out of my Technicolour straitjacket and have successfully distracted the screws with contraband XXX nudie mags! But wait! Here’s a delightful conundrum: now that I’ve got the opportunity to tell you all about myself, just what am I to say that will compel you to take that dizzying first step into the Great Unknown of a brand-spanking new friendship? There’s so much to say–where do begin?!?!

Oh! I know!!!

Hi Freeworld peoples! *waving energetically* I am The Kyle and I’m the bestest friend you never had! “The Kyle” isn’t just a name, though, it’s a state of mind!

I’m that guy your Mother warned you about: a hyperactive super-cool-awesome wildcard with a wicked Cheshire grin, devastating charm and *way* more imagination, curiosity, and free time than can possibly be good for either of us! I may be barking mad, but your life is definitely going to be more interesting because of it! Come on, give in to the Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy Dance–You *know* you want to!

Are you fun and interesting or, even better, really strange? Do you giggle uncontrollably at wildly inappropriate moments, or for no reason at all? Do you desperately wish your life were like your favorite Anime? Are you crazy for all things Japanese? Do you believe the world would be a better place if more people lightened up and gave in to whimsical flights of fancy or random acts of senseless Beauty? Is there way too much blood in your caffeine system? Do you have tattoos, piercings, or body modifications (and if so, will you show them to me?)? Do you have lots of awesome, interesting or exotic pets? Do you have a job doing something wicked cool? Are you a tortured soul expressing yourself through art, poetry, music, or photography? Do you believe in magick, Dragons or Fairies? Have you ever been abducted by aliens (or wish you had been)? Do you search for the impossible in everyday life? Do you know deep in your heart that there is more to this world, beyond sight and sound and touch? Are you a pathetically hopeless Romantic with more optimistic idealism than is probably good for you? Do you have room in your life for the madcap antics of a slightly demented, caffeine addled eccentric?

Then why the frak aren’t you writing to me yet?!?!

Happy Thought (An Invitation)

Watching raindrop patterns on my window
Thinking of friends far away
I’m hoping a letter comes today
The perfect end to my day

If you sing me a song
I’ll tell you my Happy Thought
If you tell me a story
I’ll share all the wishes that I’ve caught

If you bring me riddles to solve
You’ll find me up to the task
That you show me something new
Is all that I ask

I have learned to catch
The laughter in all my tears
To see the foolishness
Of all my greatest fears

For I have learned that love only comes
To hearts that believe
And it gives most
To those with the greatest need

So sing me a song
My Happy Thoughts are yours
Listen, and you’ll hear them whisper
As softly as a lion roars

Date of Birth: 09/02/1983 (38 years old)
Gender: Male
Marital Status: Married
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Race: White
Ethnicity: N/A
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6 ft. 1 in.
Body Type: Average
Hometown: NIMH
Spoken Languages: English, can write Elvish + Futhark
Religion: Wiccan – Tradition of Lothloriën
Astrological Sign: Virgo

Profile will end on: 12/31/2022

Kyle Hulbert #1165519

River North Correctional Center
329 Dell Brook Lane
Independence, VA 24348

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Incarcerated Since: 2001
Sentence Received: Life Without Parole
Earliest Release: N/A

Click here to see the conviction(s)

1st Degree Murder
Conspiracy to Commit Murder

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