Caleb Kanatzar

Here I sit like a puppy at the pound. Although I think it matters less where I am, as long as I remain as I am and as I should be.

I am in the penitentiary, but I am not penitent. I killed a man in self-defense. The jury thought otherwise and called it manslaughter, but I hold no regrets; grandpa always said it’s better to take your chances with the judge than the undertaker and that’s the choice I made.

My friends describe me as curious (about everything), direct, and quick to laugh. I pass my time in the dungeon, working out, reflecting on life, and reading. Favorite subjects include Ancient Greece/Rome and “conspiracy theories” (MKUltra, COINTELPRO, Operation Mongoose, etc.) Truth is by far stranger than fiction. I also enjoy studying law and, oddly enough, arguing with my television. I love the outdoors (I grew up hunting, fishing, and camping) and Mexican food (preferably with a frosty Margarita!). Favorite band is Sublime, Pulp Fiction is the greatest movie ever, and Rick+Morty is the funniest thing on television (and possibly the smartest!).

Without sincerity, there is nothing; I would love to meet a woman who can be herself unapologetically, unafraid to share her actual opinions, who appreciates true friendship, and loves a good conversation. We can examine personal philosophy, explore the mysteries of the universe, or just share some laughs over the latest celebrity gossip and the absurdity of the world we live in. I am surprised by the realization that I miss the sound of a woman’s laughter as much as miss the soft curves. Call me old-fashioned, but chivalry is alive and well; with me you can expect nothing less than my genuine thoughts, rapt attention, and always respect.

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• Incarcerated Since: 2016
• Sentence Received: 21 years
• Earliest Release: 2034

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